Monday, May 5, 2008

my P.M.T

Look inside the sculpture…

Ashes all around…

I accept your smoke …

With all dirt unfiltered…

I don’t understand

Who made who?

Why bad feels bad?

Why couldn’t you change the notion?

Why you look up to sky?

Why you try looking brighter?

Why you wonder with universal facts?

Why you suppose your “ruling mind” thinks for you?

All that happens coz…

You are not you….

Neither certainly me…

Nothing for you here ……

So for you…

I am designing a lab,

Lab of creating death…

Lab of destroying your sorrow

Lab of burying your notion’s…

Monday, April 7, 2008

what was that!!!!!

This story (TRUE STORY) begins in a train and unfortunately ends in the same train. I was going to home in the midsem break (can’t remember the date,4th sem. 2008 holi) .As always I didn’t book the tickets earlier so I had waiting sleeper class ticket from bareily to my place (don’t ask about this place I am wanted there so I am not going to tell you).Even before entering the coach I smelt the worst that is usual for this train(full of nepali janta …this train goes via some Nepal border stations so they were the expected passengers).My friend kedia call me bloody racist …and I am, every time I go to home my view about racism gets more and more stronger. Somehow I could manage to enter there with my lappyyyyyyyyyyy you see I am just ‘I’ and my lappy is a big word . And there …on the berth no. 12 (lower one) …I saw a girl!!!, not ordinary .My never deceiving GOD…did you created this ??? that’s what I asked god immediately. She was beautiful (and it’s true ).Yeah but there is always a sad story pasted on my back butt( have you ever seen a front butt).You got it right man she had a boyfriend. He was handsome but still …I am the 1.I pretended to have confirm ticket and sat beside the moron. I was alone and helpless but brave enough to introduce myself .Not to the girl yaar…actually to the boyfriend. Like where are you going to?, College student??, Which college??. I knew will win there (you know I am fucking arrogant IITian who always claim to be in best college of the universe).As I was expecting he was impressed .But still my back was paining coz she wasn’t listening. And the next moment was my moment .I felt like I am in the bar of heaven. She called the moron ‘BHAIYYA’. No. no… it’s not right to call such a gentleman moron. I tried a lot to include her in the conversation but ( just 1‘t’ less than my paining butt…) …all in vain. Hope gives vision to live even in worst situation and dream gives hope …so I dreamt and was hoping that she would talk to me but…(fucking but…) …she didn’t talk to me . You must be thinking that’s the end of story but… no…it’s actually beginning. Her brother was such a nice person that he offered me his berth beneath the middle berth where my soul was sleeping with it’s soul mate. I was fooling her bro that I am laying on his berth but…you people see how genius I am!!!....you agree ?? but… you shouldn’t be…actually I was fooled by that moron. He was a bloody gay!!!. I came to know when he started coming closer and closer …more closer so that he could touch my cheek with his lips…shitttt. He was pretending to sleep so I pretended that the punch I hit on his nose was the action of my unconscious mind. He was hurt but…not enough to maintain his dignity. After some time he started caressing my @#$% and that was enough… I stood up …and lit a Marlboro …still 3 hours to wait. It was 1 am . Everybody was sleeping like nothing happened even the bastard was sleeping like a dog. I was so pissed off that did not dare to see the girl. Suddenly I saw a light in the dark…light of hope…unlike her bro she might not be homosexual … she might be bisexual…oh my GOD I am fukking genius …that’s what I thought … I turned my self towards the beauty queen and she was really looking like a princess, Sleeping beauty against the victim of sexual harassment. Just in few microseconds I forgot all that happened to me and again love beaten agony. I was gazing her continuously …only thing which was biting me that I may not be able to watch her forever…don’t ask what else I was thinking …it was nothing, It was bloody blank in my mind at that time, Time passing with the speed of light. Just 1-2 more minutes and my papa will be there yelling ‘sunny’……’sunny’. I bloody hated even the thought of papa coming into picture. Dare is word I learnt …it was time for act. Dream------hope-----dare-----act… that’s it man do it, just do it. I was repeating again and again…hmm well I woke her …and god what a buttery hand she had …she was half awoken …I asked “Did someone tell you?” she replied “kya”??
I said “that you are sooooo beautiful “…and she wasted some time to reply ….

CHATTAKKK!!!!! (That was the sound). And I assume you people are wise enough to understand the action …the next thing I heard is “SUNNYY”……………



Wednesday, February 13, 2008

the hell...


Walking through the alleys of hell
I found a dark hazy room
Scream of devil
Flood of blood
Sound of cracking bones
Hump of human skull…

Air couldn’t dare to smell the mise en scene
Light was afraid of entering the room
Floating gleam couldn’t cover the doom
Noise of smoke filled the room


I saw my daughter being slaughtered
I saw a devil supping blood from her heart
I saw a man burning his heart to get some warmth
I saw a friend of mine sucking his own vein

And that was too much to be seen
So I woke up
Oh… it was my dream
I pretended myself as GOD
And entered into alleys of your heart…

Sunday, February 10, 2008

desire of wind

Chasing the desire of wind
Is not a crime of creation.
Let the existence rebound
And whack the wall of cessation

Theories behind the pain
Hinders my wind to soar
I see light of sun in vain
And beauty of waterfall blur

My memory reminds me the same
Fear of the dark break the train
They want me to become tame
And mind compels to remember evanescent rain

Fleeting desire, hatred, agony and vague truth
Loves my demon run
So…I took the last disgusting breath
And my sweet wind is free for run.

Friday, February 8, 2008

eternity


Give me the reason to live
I know it’s tough

As it’s digging a well underneath self!!
As it’s creating world from vacuum!!
As it’s extracting sole from deathbed!!
As it’s writing poem on infinity!!
As it’s getting a hell out of your selfishness!!
As it’s predicting history of future!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Doesn’t desire beget another desire??
Doesn’t fertile plain suck all it produces??
Doesn’t universe follow the law of conservation??
Doesn’t victory follow defeat??
Doesn’t truth ride upon the back of admitting??
Doesn’t destruction cause construction??

I don’t believe ‘Eternity lies within the chaos of life’..
All I am seeking is Eternity…
Can you tell me?
How to achieve eternity…
Without lying within the chaos of life…………….